MUMBAI: Diwali reunions can bring old friends together, but for single millennials they can also turn into an uncomfortable exercise in comparison. Questions about marriage, conversations centred on couples and unsolicited advice can leave those yet to find a partner feeling increasingly out of step with their peers, according to a survey by dating app QuackQuack.
The survey of 10,000 online dating app users aged 28 to 35 across metro and suburban India found that festive get-togethers can influence dating decisions, with some singles feeling pressured to find a partner before the next round of celebrations.
Nearly half (49 per cent) of respondents said festive gatherings could unexpectedly affect their dating choices. While 18 per cent said such meetings encouraged them to become more active on dating apps and connect with potentially compatible partners, others experienced a less positive outcome.
The urgency to find a partner was driven more by comparison than romance, said 39 per cent of women and 41 per cent of men. Seeing friends and relatives settle down, reach milestones and discuss their relationships often prompted singles to reassess their own status.
Ananya, 32, said she had overlooked warning signs in a relationship last year because she did not want to remain single by the following Diwali. The relationship eventually ended.
Festive catch-ups become status checks
For some, the discomfort begins when casual conversations turn into questions about marriage, relationships and future plans. Discussions about buying a home together, family planning and anniversaries can also underline the differences between the lives of couples and those who are single.
A total of 4,857 respondents from tier-one and tier-two cities said festive gatherings could quickly turn into question-and-answer sessions for millennials who had yet to find a partner. Meanwhile, 38 per cent of daters above 30 said they mentally prepared for such exchanges, even rehearsing responses to the familiar question of when they would settle down.
Akansha, 29, from Mumbai, said a Diwali party that was meant to be enjoyable had instead left her feeling more conscious of being single. Harsh, 30, from Pune, said the feeling of being alone could persist even when nobody directly asked about marriage or future plans.
The survey also pointed to changes in friendships as more members of a social circle enter relationships. Thirty-seven per cent of respondents who considered themselves the last single friend in their group said friendship dynamics had begun to change.
Seven in 10 singles said their friends tended to gravitate towards other couples, while 19 per cent of respondents aged 28 to 35 said conversations had become less frequent because their everyday lives increasingly differed.
The feeling of being a third wheel was particularly pronounced at gatherings, with 2,984 single men and 3,384 single women saying they sometimes felt like the spare person. Conversations, activities and even seating arrangements could become centred on couples, leaving singles on the sidelines.
Akhil, 33, said social plans were often made around the schedules of couples, with the single friend expected to remain available.
QuackQuack founder and CEO Ravi Mittal said being the last single friend or the only unmarried cousin could be isolating, as family and social gatherings repeatedly brought attention to differences in life milestones. The desire for companionship, he said, should not be driven by pressure to match the pace of others.
The findings suggest that festive gatherings can influence more than social moods. For some millennials, the pressure to keep pace with friends and relatives may also affect how they approach dating, potentially encouraging rushed decisions rather than considered choices.
